The art of happiness ; My memo

I would like to put memos about a book, The art of Happiness.

I was in a depress situation last August. That's because I had suffered from a pain, not chronic around the left stomach on my back for a few weeks and I thought I might be suffering from some serious disease. And I had a clue about that. I had drunken alcohol more than I might be able to handle with my body, due to chronic stress for a few months. The pain disappeared two weeks later and nothing was found out by medical check, so now I'm fine. During that time, I was thinking why only I was treated badly and how unhappy I was by looking at my situation in my job and was suffering the pain. So I was looking for something to make me feel calm down to look forward the future positively, and come across a book, "The art of happiness". I have heard of Dalai Lama, but I had not read articles, videos, let alone books. As for myself, I'm not a Buddhist and don't have any religious beliefs actually, although my American friend who turned  a Buddist always tells me that Japanese people don't say they have any beliefs, but their behavior is exactly following what Buddhism teaches. Yes, that's true actually, because people used to be religious long time years back. Growing up in Japan merely leads us to behave like that, naturally regardless of nationalities. So even Americans who moved to Japan in their early ages behave like than unconsciously. The book seems to be very famous, so it's available in English in a bookstore in Tokyo. I usually order books in English by Amason because books in English are not still popular,and available books in bookstores are limited unfortunately. 
I had finished reading the book soon after the purchase, and there are a lot of comments and sentences which I like to remember for the rest of my life, so I underlined them in red in the book. What is the most valuable thing was that I could be calm down and I have been able to gradually change my way of thinking by incorporating what I learned throughout reading the book. 

So here is my memo.

Compassion for others increase own happiness. And they are a two-way street.

Cultivating happiness benefits not only oneself, but also family community. Furthermore happiness is contagious. Seeking happiness is basic human life.

Generally happy people are more social, flexible and tolerate life's frustration than unhappy people.

 Comparison causes breed envy and frustration, which causes less satisfaction and less happiness. This can be changes by how to perceive own situation and how to deal with it. One's mind state determines how happy we are, and external events never directly do that. Even those who are struck by serious disease can bring back their mind back to normal after a while.

Excessive desire leads to greed. Nobody is born with greedy mind. Nobody is programmed genetically to make wars. They are acquired later, so improvement is possible later as well.

Greed makes more greed. You never are going to be satisfied even though you get something you wanted. 

Strong sense of contentment is a strong antidote of greedness.

How we can acquire contentment is to appreciate what we have. Gratification of what we have.

One of ways to seek happiness is to learn how positive thinking, emotion, and behavior are good forms and how negative thinking and antidote are harmful for us. After figuring it out, it's important to develop your positive attitude.

 Causality is a basic law in Buddhism, so let's find out what bring you happiness.

 Negative things include hatred, jealousy and anger.

When you get up, it's better to think about how you utilize the day and how not to waste the day. When you go to bed, it's important to reflect your day and consider what you should have done and what you regret today. Repeating this every day gives you positive attitude, which makes you feel happy. This is not a habit which does not happen overnight. It takes time.

Scientists call our brain plasticity because that's configurable if we want even though its time depends on people.

If we want to deepen relationship with others, it's important to get to know the deeper nature of others and relate to him/her on that level, instead of merely on superficial characteristics. Developing compassion and altruism (<--> egoism) has a positive impact on physical and emotional health.

Suffering is usually negative and people react it negatively, which make people unhappy. So it's important for you to understand how you react it when it arises. Accepting that suffering is a basic part of our life is one of the steps to do that. The developing perception of that is important. Ignorance is not referring to the lack of information, but to the fundamental miperceptison of the nature of life and all phenomena.

When you go to a restaurant for dinner, what would you feel if the service is as slow as you can't endure ? It's normal to feel that  the service is really bad and you never come again, and annoyance arises finally. However, what would you feel if a water come to you at the end of the dinner and appologize for slow service because one of waiters had a death in a family and one of cooks called in sick just last minute. How would you react to it after you hear that ?

Whenever there is intense emotion, there tends to be a disparity between how things happen and how things really are.

Finding own contribution to anger and frustration is important.

Regardless of whether we are successful or not, the honest attempt to figure out own contribution to a problem allows a certain shift of forces that helps to break through a narrow pattern of thinking that leads to the destructive feeling of unfairness and that is the source of the discontentment in ourselves.

The ability of changing perspective is strong tool which enables you to deal with daily problems. However, it's possible to be able to cope with your problems immediately. Changing perspective does not happen overnight. It can be acquired through a process of learning, training and practice getting used to the new perspective.

Finding meaning in suffering is a great tool which enable you to deal with difficulty. And suffering is an opportunity to consider other's suffering. When you are aware of pain and suffering, it helps you develop your capacity of empathy, which allows you to relate to other's feeling. This also enhances your capacity for compassion toward others. There is no doubt that our attitude can affect the degree to which we suffer when we are in suffering.

The awareness of human impermanence is helpful, and its acceptance allows you to appreciate human existence, and it will give us the sense of urgency that we have to use the very precious moment.

If you encounter some obstacles in your life, it's definitely better to step back and tecontemp lathe longer term view rather than the shorter time view.

Posive state of mind can act as an antidote to a negative state of mind. The more you are used to behave positively, the more you are able to reduce the force of mental and emotional pain.

Repeatedly engagement in positive attitude brings about internal change of mind.

We can prepare to cope with anger and hatred with a positive attitude. Once it arises, you can analyze what causes and triggers anger in your internal mind, and you can think how to deal with it appropriately. Science also confirms that actively challenging, logically analyzing, and reappraising thought that trigger anger help dissipate

If you analyze situation, you will find out that the past is past. It's no use continuing to feel anger, which does not change the situation, rather causes continuous unhappiness.

Happy life is built on a foundation of a calm stable state of mind. The practice of inner discipline can include formal meditation techniques that are intended to help stabilize the mind and achieve that calm state. 

By reviewing these regularly, I will be able to recall the contents mentioned around these memos. It was the first time for me to read a book related to Buddhism, so there are a lot of important things which I found to be able to use in our daily life.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiness-10th-Anniversary-Edition-ebook/dp/B002UK6NO0