Language exchange ; my experience

I have had a language exchange partner since almost two years ago to improve my English and to learn practical English which can be used in daily conversation. And he has learned practical Japanese from me instead. We were both at middle level of each learning language at that time. I was able to speak English a little bit and he was also able to speak Japanese a little bit. So it was easier for both to start our activity than to start from teaching basic grammar. I'm sure that this has been so successful language exchange for both and we have learned not only language itself but also history, culture, news about each country. Generally speaking, English and Japanese languages do not have exact translation relationship other than each word, so it is sometimes difficult to come up with appropriate sentence of what we really want to express in learning English, but we have been able to find nearly meaning each other everytime. That's what I think is most useful practice each other through language exchange and what can not be learned easily through text books.

So I would like to tell how we started and how we continue our activity without stopping.

How I found my partner

It was through a finding partner section of the Cragslist. At first, I was not able to find post which matched for me in terms of area and meeting time, but found his post finally and emailed him soon. In the following day, I got a response like "You already have a basic level of English and let's meet once". I did not ask, but having a basic knowledge looked like decision point.

When and where we met for our activity

We had done our activity at the Starbucks or Peats, but it was noisy, crowded, and they close early at our area. So we tried many places and finally got settled at Paner because it is quiet, and WiFi is available, and they close late. I do not say that Starbuck and Peats are not good place, but that it depends on people and area. We had basically met from 7pm to 9pm twice a week or once a week after work, but it is one hour phone call once a week now because I came back to my country. Finding good time zone is a little bit difficult due to time difference between U.S. and Japan.

Making sure motivation of language exchange

It's better to make sure what our motivation is for learning language at first in order to continue the activity efficiently. In my case, the motivation is to improve my daily conversation speaking skill. In my case, I have been using English so far for my work, so many people would say that I do not have to practice English. It's partly true regarding English in work, but not true partly as well regarding other situation. A problem which I was facing was that using English for work was a not problem but daily conversation was a problem for me. I think that there are many people who think so. Generally when we meet new people first time, it is usual to star general conversation at first to make situation relax. Nobody would begin to talk about detail of work in business situation. Topics would vary situation by situation. I was not able to do this well because I was not used to daily conversation so I did not know what to say and how to expand conversation even though I'm able to do that easily in my mother language. As is same with our daily communication in mother language, it is important to prepare and store stories in mind in advance to expand conversation. People do this unconsciously. That's why I started this blog to do that preparation consciously and I'm feeling it is paying off well. Second motivation is to watch movies without subtitles. Depending on movies, I'm able to hear and understand contents almost perfectly. Additionally, I'm able to catch and understand music lyrics more than I used to be able to.

Attitude for language exchange

Our time is limited, Our slogan which we think should be kept in mind is that we can make mistake to say something and don't feel embarrassed to say something wrong because this activity is an opportunity to be able to make mistakes without worrying about doing that and an opportunity that mistake is corrected by the partner in practical sense. So I have been trying to used what I learn through movies, musics, TVs.

The partner's personality

I have been a lucky man because my partner is really good person in terms of personality and mind set as much as I respect him as human being. He is an American, but he has begun to believe in the Buddhism at some time through his life, and his mind set is as beautiful as I sometimes feel embarrassed to realize that my thought is  a little bit rude. Even when I feel negative, I'm able to began to feel positive when I talk with him. He sometimes tell me a way of thinking toward something bad in daily life, based on the Buddhism idea. He always tells me that Japanese people say that they do not have religious but what they do, how we talk, and how they behave are exactly following the buddhism idea, and Japanese people do that unconsciously because it is integrated so naturally in daily life that people do not realize it.

Preparation for lesson ; what to talk ?

Time is limited for both, so preparation is important to make the activity efficiently. Topics to talk about is everywhere in daily life, so it's important to make a habit of looking for what we talk about in the activity. When I find something good, I always try to take a memo and make story of how I tell it in English. Keeping them in mind is not good enough because human being can forget them easily. I always prepare a few stories  to tell in English like preparing a presentation in work.

What is pointed out to me

My partner sometimes points out that my accent is flat because Japanese language itself is flat pronunciation. English needs strong and week points in terms of accent so it's better to say something in English consciously. I believe that this is most difficult part of learning English for Japanese people due to nature of mother language. Similarly we feel something wrong when people whose mother language is English speak Japanese because its accent has strong and week points like English. 

Win-Win relationship

It's important to consider balance between English time and Japanese time. I meet my partner for improving English mainly and my partner meets me for learning English, and our motivations look different and contradicted. It's better to be aware of it each other and say "please say it either in English or in Japanese". 
Additionally, it's important not to nod and show that you understand what a partner is saying even though you do not understand clearly because a partner is not able to express what a partner is trying to say. If you do not pass this moment and if you correct it seriously, then your partner feel good because a partner can know how to express that in learning language.

Power of the language exchange ; general talk before meeting of work

At business meetings either in face-to-face or phone conference, it is usual to begin to say hello and do general conversation before starting meetings. This is not essential in terms of meeting itself, but it would be important to know each other. It is significant at first time. I was not able to do this well because I was not used to it in English, but now I am able to do this much better that I used to. With comfortable conversation, it's easier to start meetings with relax mind. Without it, it is so monotonic and not so lively. 

Power of the language exchange ; be able to talk with anyone
When I was not good at daily conversation, I hesitated to talk with people who, for instance sit next to me, is next me in waiting line, but now I do not hesitate at all, rather I love to do talk with even somebody known. Now it's easy to expand conversation to sustain it and know what people are like.

Power of the language exchange ; Meditation

I sometimes open up my negative and irritated feeling when I felt so during work, so he recommended me to attend mediation class where a buddhist monk teach how to do meditation correctly and he has done volunteer there. Elemental coarse is for free and held once a week from 7pm to 9pm. First one hour is meditation time and another one hour is history of the buddhism. The monk who taught there at that time was good guy and has sense of humor, so his presentation of the history was so fun. It was just an elemental class, but I was able to learn how to do meditation and feel relaxed even when I would feel irritated before.

He got married and just started to live with his spouse, so I'm feeling guilty a little bit to have a his important one hour with his wife at Sunday night. I'm wondering if I should stop or continue this.